Thinking about Peace Corps, it was something that I needed to do. Maybe it was a calling or an act of a crazy person (probably more of the latter than the former) but I realized that if I didn’t do it after college, I’d wake up at 40, married without kids and an office job somewhere…and join the Peace Corps. And if not then, I’d wake up at 78, retired, with a house and boat somewhere…and join the Peace Corps. Or Moon Corps. Or whatever “corps” they’d have when I am 78. It was a feeling, a need, that I can’t really explain with words. I also wanted to gain some meaningful life, work, professional and personal experience. Gaining experience was my personal mission for the past two years. Looking back on everything, I believe I got the experience I was seeking. And a bit more.
Professionally, I've raised a good bit of money through grants and community fund raising, organized some projects and programs that will help people years after my service, and helped prepare the newest group of Youth Development workers who have already done some awesome things in their short time as volunteers. Personally, I believe that my service helped me to mature in areas that weren't initially evident to me, but were sorely needed in my life. And I've learned how to better pick my battles, although I still need a bit of work on this.
It wasn’t until Istanbul that I began to realize just how much of myself I gave over the two years, and how exhausted I was because of it. I hate cheesy slogans, but Peace Corps gets it right when they say that it is “the hardest job you’ll ever love”.
But was it worth it? This was a question that a lot of the Kaz-22 trainees (now volunteers) asked me during their training, and it would always cause me to make a weird face of confusion. I wasn’t sure then, and I’m still not 100% sure now. But I think, yes, it was worth it. I’m happy that I was able to contribute to the development of NGOs, not for profits and community foundations in Kazakhstan. I'm happy that I finished. I’m looking forward to finding new ways to use the skills I acquired, and I know that I’ll never forget the life lessons I learned. It is interesting to note that I feel better about my service now than 2 weeks ago. I think that as more time passes I will have a better idea of what my service meant to me, and what I got out of it.
To my Family and Friends
And while I did finish my service, I couldn't have done it without the people who helped me along the way by giving encouragement. I cannot thank them enough. It tended to be the smallest things that helped the most: it could have been a package, a letter, or a message through facebook or even on this blog. Whenever I was at my lowest, someone, somewhere, would give me a word of encouragement that would get me through the day. Case in point: my first Christmas in Kazakhstan, I had to work. The night before it rained, then iced, then snowed. I was unhappy about working on my favorite holiday and very homesick. I walked about 2 miles to work, in which I fell into a pothole with cold water along the way, soaking my shoes and socks. When I got to work, there was a package from a close family friend which contained, of all things, dry socks. There are countless other times I could cite: Facebook messages when I was too depressed to get out of bed, text messages that made me laugh when I was in the hospital, letters with stuffed animals, or the advice "Just keep living".
With good friends and family at my side, I'll take on anything!This blog was also for me. I enjoyed blogging while I was in Peace Corps and found it to be a very rewarding and good outlet for a lot of my feelings. It has even caused a good habit: Since May I've spent about 15 minutes every day just jotting down things that come into my head. Some turned into blog posts, many did not, but it was a good way for me to focus, to de-stress, and to get things off of my chest. And, it was fun! It allowed me to express myself in a way that I never have done before. I don't think that I'll blog again until I find something interesting to talk about. I know that some returned volunteers continue blogging about what life is like for them when they get back to their American lives, but I don’t that type of blog is for me. I think those types of blogs are a bit depressing. I’ve said many times that I’m highly nervous about transitioning back to American life. So far, my transition has gone better than I thought. I still have a ways to go, (my godmother kept on asking me why I take off my shoes before coming inside, and I freak out in restaurants because I think they will charge me for refills ...), but so far the adjustment has gone better than I expected.
One thing that surprised me about this blog was that it allowed me to talk to people all over the world, from Brazil to Poland who were interested in Kazakhstan and Peace Corps. Also, a lot of the Kaz 21s and-22s told me that they read my blog before coming to Kazakhstan and they found it useful. Because of this I won't delete my blog, as I hope it can still provide relevant information about Kazakhstan and Peace Corps to future volunteers or people who are searching for stuff on the country. And if any of those aspiring volunteers wishes to talk more in depth feel free to email me, I'd happily talk to you! If you want to read more blogs from Peace Corps volunteers, I'd direct you to the right hand side of the screen, or to this website that catalogs Peace Corps volunteer blogs from all over the world.
I wonder what I will think of my blog 5 years from now
Jay-Z likes New York. Alicia Keys likes New York. I like Jay-Z and Alicia Keys, so I will like New York!!!
All joking aside, New York intimidates me because it is so big. Half of the population of Kazakhstan could fit into New York City! But I think it can be a good place for me. Living in New York puts me in close proximity to DC and Boston. The many NGOs that work internationally are based on the East Coast. There are also lots of good grad schools in the area that will give scholarships to returned volunteers.
So until the time I get a call for an interview or it becomes time to move, I will hang out in Davenport. I'm catching up on my favorite tv shows like Glee, House, and Lie to Me, watching movies in the theaters (I'm looking forward to the Warrior's Way) and keeping up my language skills by watching this show in Russian. Hopefully wherever I end up, I'll take a Russian class at a community college so that I won't lose what I've learned. I'm also eating lots of food to regain my lost weight and running a couple of miles outside every other day to make sure the extra weight doesn't turn to fat (after feeling what -40F is like, 25F isn't that bad).
Most importantly, I'm spending time with my family. December is the first time in over 2 years that my mother, father, brother, and myself are all in the same city, let alone the same continent for more than a week, and I'm going to take advantage of it by spending as much time with them as I can. I've also planned trips to Iowa City and Chicago in December to see friends. Before Peace Corps, I would have freaked out about the job thing and turned it into an obsession. I don't want to make the same mistake twice, so I'm going to take my own advice.
I know I’ll be keeping in touch with many of my friends and volunteers who read this blog via email, telephone and Facebook, although I can't say how long I'll remain on it. I don't like Facebook.
To those of you who have been reading this blog but I never got the chance to interact with you, thank you so much for reading, and I wish you all the best.
До свидания!
~Kyle
4 comments:
So I cannot believe I JUST found your blog, since you are most likely going to stop writing.
I just got back from India on a Fulbright, and I completely understand what you mean about people continuing those blogs in a depressing way... I had thought about stopping blogging when I decided to use the blog to promote women's rights and some really awesome orgs. out there.
Anyways, you're a really good writer and you do a great job capturing your experiences. Any plans to head back?
Also, I so related to your experiences... getting sick abroad, having a difficult time keeping up communication with people, etc. It's hard to balance life in two worlds...
esp. while living in the third world. Thanks for this.
@Priya:
I'd consider going back if I got a job offer (they'd have to pay me), but I don't think that will be happen for awhile. So its off to NYC in a couple of weeks. Hopefully I can snag a job with a not for profit organization or something and build on what I learned in KZ.
Way to go Kyle! I'm sure your bound for more great things. Good luck to you in your adventures and endeavors.
Post a Comment