Most of my friends in Peace Corps know that I am borderline obsessed with the soft drink Fanta. During training, I usually bought one every other day, and would always keep an eye out in the stores for new flavors.
My interest in Fanta actually started in 2006, when I studied abroad in Germany and discovered the non PC (politically correct, not Peace Corps) drink called the U-Boat. A U-Boat is the following: Take a glass of Fanta (Any flavor, but orange works best), and a shot glass of vodka. Drop the shot glass into the Fanta, and drink. Repeat as needed. Be careful, like their metallic submarine equivalents during the Second World War, U-Boats have the ability to sneak up and overwhelm the unaware.
Different countries and regions have different flavors of Fanta. In America, orange Fanta is usually the norm. It is possible to find other flavors, but it is rare. One of my personal goals in Peace Corps is to try all of the available flavors of Fanta that are produced in Kazakhstan. During the past 2 years, I've tried 9 different types of Fanta: Orange, Berry, Mango, Tropical Fruit, Holiday version, World Cup version, Red Berry, Green unidentified kind, and what I call "cream soda" version. Out of those nine, my favorites are Mango (naturally), Red Berry, and World Cup version which sadly won't appear for another 4 years. The other 5 are also pretty tasty, and the Tropical Fruit flavor makes a great U-Boat.
Come to think of it, I've never tried a flavor of Fanta that I didn't like.
Until today.
I went to the store to buy an ice cold Fanta after lunch. I was banking on grabbing an orange or berry one, but I saw a type I'd never seen before, so I quickly bought it.
My plan was to sit off to the side and drink Fanta while watching the shocked reactions of the new trainees as they experienced a session that was facilitated by the lead Peace Corps doctor in Kazakhstan. The session was titled, "Diarrhea and you: Drink filtered water", so I figured that they would have some great reactions of shock and disbelief as the doctor told some pretty gruesome (or awesome, depending on your point of view) stories accompanied with some equally gnarly photos. Sometimes these photos and stories are about the doctor's time in Angola in the 80's when he was a medic in the Soviet Army, which makes it even more extreme (or awesome, depending on your point of view).
Everything was perfect: I had no sessions to facilitate today, I had a new flavor of Fanta, and the trainees were about to be grossed out while learning some important stuff at the same time. Everything was going right until I popped open the bottle and took a swig. The only way I can describe apple flavored Fanta is "foul". It's like apple flavored Mr. Clean. Or Pine-Sol with apples inside. I don't think that I could describe in words how horrified and grossed out I was after drinking this. It was so awful I couldn't finish it. I've eaten a sheep's cheek, gnawed on horse, and drank deer's blood mixed with vodka, but those things don't compare to the gross flavor of Apple Fanta. It's that bad.
So this post is for all of the other Fanta drinkers out there. Don't drink Apple Fanta. It will ruin your day.
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