Don’t fight the babushka!

Yesterday, a babushka gave me a piece of candy at work, and I totally lost it and started crying. I'm not the really emotional type, but this week has not gone well. I've been told that I have to move out of my apartment by the end of the month. In addition, the landlady called Peace Corps and said that I've been messy, a drunk, hold wild parties, and have ruined several things. Now, if you believe that's true, then you should buy this book because it's just as true as the "wild parties" I've been accused of holding.

Nothing serious came of the false words, but PCV stands for "Peace Corps Volunteer," and not "Please Crap on my Values", and so I take it very seriously when people try to ruin my integrity and dispute my honesty. I've also been without heat since last Saturday. At night, it gets down to around -10 Celsius, which is probably why I've been very cranky and snappish as of late.

On a positive note, I've been surprised at how my organization and local friends and neighbors have rallied around me. They realize that whole situation is not legit, and are helping me to find a new place. People have even offered to take me into their homes until I find a new place. Then I received the candy, and I just fell apart. I'll never crack if someone is really mean to me, but show me a lot of kindness and the waterworks start. Funny that I work this way.

Anyway, babushkas (Russian for grandmothers) are the true generals of Russian and Kazakh families. As long as it deals with family matters or is in the home, whatever they say goes. All joking aside, the strongest, wisest, most helpful, and most caring people I have ever met in Kazakhstan have been babushkas. Whenever I'm having a bad day or a hard time there has always been a babushka that takes mercy on me and somehow helps me out.

Babushkas are also the toughest people I've ever met in Kazakhstan. You don't mess with them. Nobody messes with them. They will mess you up. Here are 4 rules that I follow regarding babushkas in Kazakhstan.

• Rule #1: Don't argue with a babushka about anything. You will never win.
  

If I feel passionate enough, I'll argue with anyone about anything. However, I've never won an argument with a babushka. Many of my arguments stem from my resistance to Rule #2, and I always lose. Babushkas can also silence drunks with a word, send packs of wild dogs running away with a glare, get discounts from taxi drivers with a smile, and obtain free extra blankets from train conductors (I'm not sure how).

• Rule #2: Eat everything that a babushka gives you.
  

A word that many volunteers learn (and get quickly tired of) is "Ешь!" one of the many ways to say "eat"! From a host mother, co-worker, or friend, the word means just that. From a babushka, it means "Eat! (You will not leave until you are finished)". Babushkas also always seem to know when you have had enough to eat. Even if they don't, it doesn't matter because of Rule #1.

• Rule #3: Always give up your seat on public transportation for babushkas.
  

As a fellow PCV wrote in her blog regarding bus transportation, you should always give up your seat for a babushka. What she failed to mention were the consequences for not getting up. If you do not get up, you will receive an Optimus Prime style mega-smack down, administered personally by the babushka. And, you will lose your seat in the process. I've never experienced this personally, but have seen it happen to unruly teenagers in Almaty, and it wasn't pretty.

There are instances where you may try to give up your seat, and the babushka does not want to sit down. If this happens, thank her and sit right back down. Woe to the person who tries to insist, as they too will receive a smack down, although it is usually the verbal kind. I've experienced this, and while I didn't understand every word, it was not very fun. Just remember Rule #1.

• Rule #4: If a babushka gives you advice, you'd be very smart to pay attention.
  

Want to know how people view you in your town, at school, or your organization? Want to know if the young man or woman down the street is interested in you, and what to do about it? Not sure about what type of present to give for a holiday or wedding? The weather for next week? Ask a babushka that you are comfortable with and trust, and you'll get the answers. The advice of babushkas throughout my service so far has been invaluable because it gave me a more complete insight into the culture that I would not have received anyplace else. Their advice has helped me to weather awkward social situations, exit with grace from arranged dates, and generally navigate life in Kazakhstan while remaining culturally sensitive. When I was living in Karabulak, if I thought I was out of line or didn't understand something, I'd get the advice of my host family's babushka. I would bring the candy(usually jellybeans), she would boil the tea, and we would sit together, and she would tell me if I was right or wrong, and how to fix it. Granted, advice is just that, but you should never forget Rule #1.

Never forget Rule #1.