I'm a bad poet. Now everyone knows it.

Christmas, as many Americans know it, is not celebrated in Kazakhstan. This day is a working day, and I’ll be at the office. Although I wish I could be home with my family, I don’t feel so bad about working. This is because I really haven’t worked a lot this month. There are so many holidays in the month that it is hard to start projects; something that I was angry about last year, but not this time around. (Independence day: December 16-20, New Years: Dec 31-Seeming like whenever people want to go back to work) Christmas for Orthodox Christians is celebrated on January 7, and for Kazakhs, March 22-24. I love the idea of celebrating multiple Christmases, although I miss my own.

Because there are so many days off, it is hard to start any sort of project in December. Last year, I was angry about not working, This year, I feel better about it, perhaps because I wrote a poem. I needed something to do with my free time! Why I'm placing this on my blog, I don't really know. Enjoy it. Go ahead and laugh it up at my horrible prose. It's ok, because something like this will never happen again. Perhaps OCAP stands for "Oh Crap! Abysmal Poetry!"

Anyway, Clement Clark Moore wrote my favorite Christmas poem. He was American, but if he lived in Kazakhstan, I think his famous poem “Twas the Night before Christmas”, probably would have turned out like this.

Enjoy! Happy Holidays!

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the land
Not a single soul cared, for this was Kazakhstan;
No stockings were hung by the fire at all,
For fear they would burn if they would fall.

Children were sleeping all snug in their beds,
While visions of beshbarmak danced in their heads;
Babushka in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.

When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away out the door I flew like a flash,
Then I slipped on the pavement and fell on my ass.

The ice on the top of the new-fallen snow
Added to the pain in my bum below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
Not a miniature sleigh, and not eight small reindeer,

But a little red Lada, that pulled up so close,
I knew in a moment it was Дед Мороз (1).
He opened the door of his rusted red car,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called out afar;

"Where’s Aslan? And Pasha? And Arman? Давай (2)!
And Sergi! Where’s Maxim? And you! Let’s ride!
Get into the Lada! We’ll go far away!
Hurry up! Come on, and do what I say!"

The Lada was ancient, but oh could it fly,
Where the roads were too slippery we took to the sky.
Over the houses and rivers we flew,
The Lada full of friends, and Дед Мороз too.

And then, in a twinkling, we were on the ground
And I got out and looked all around.

A yurt was the only thing I could see,

My friends saw my face and they laughed with glee.

“

"Come on in!” they said, “and do not be scared!”

“Our guests are all here and everything’s prepared!”

As I entered the yurt I was royally stunned
Because the big feast had already begun.

Bottles of kumis(3) stacked eight cubits high

Mountains of beshbarmak(4) touched the sky!

At the head of the table sat Auezov (5) and Abai (6),

Writing poetry so beautiful it made Nazerbaev (7) cry.

…And the man in red?

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his task,
And filled all the glasses with his hidden flask.
And standing up as quick as a flash,
He said the first toast, and then drained his glass.

The time passed quickly, we had so much fun
All too soon the night was done

We were there ‘til half past four

.Дед Мороз dropped us at our doors.

As we shook hands goodbye hand he gave me a grin.

And I heard him exclaim, as he left faster than sin,

Zhanga zhyl kutty bolsyn!

Russian/Kazakh Words Explained (it rhymes! I just needed 3 languages to do it!):

1. “Ded Moroz”: Russian version of Santa…but for New Years

2. “Da-vi”: Lets go in Russian

3. “ku-miz”: Fermented milk. Very traditional, but not very fun to drink.

4. “Besh-ba-rmak”: National dish of Kazakhstan

5. Mukhtar Auezov (1897-1961): Famous Kazakh writer, poet, and storyteller

6. Abai Kunanbaev (1845-1904): Famous Kazakh writer, poet, and storyteller

7. Nursultan Nazarbayev: President of Kazakhstan